Poof and Then It's Gone

Life has so many ups and downs.  When I had my children, I had dreams and expectations for their lives.  Boy, does that get broken into pieces.  So far none of my dreams for them are any closer than when I dreamt them. 

My heart is mourning for, well I don't know exactly.  It hurts though.  I miss them as younger people, my babies, even our newest one.  I miss caring for them and knowing what's best.  Now I have to bite my tongue, lock up my thoughts and emotions (this one is very difficult for me), and try not to build a wall to protect myself. 

I still love them very much, but watching them make their own life choices is so hard.  Especially when I feel they should be making different ones. 

As I walk through this deep valley, I'm leaning on a few things:

1.  Isaiah 55:11 

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

I will not stop my love for God and I trust that my prayers for them, my example, my love will not return void. 

2.  Deuteronomy 7:9 

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,

I trust that my relationship with Christ and my faith will be a testimony, a blessing placed on generations to come. 

Lord, I ask right now that you would continue to shed light into my children's hearts.  I ask that they would come to know you in a way that they would never depart from you.  They desire to hear you, but say they don't.  Create in them a powerful desire to acknowledge you in everything and let them hear you.  Help them know that you are attainable, that you love them more than any person on this planet (including me) could love them.  Keep them safe and protect them from all the evil that the enemy wants to throw at them.  Amen.