Thursday, December 20, 2012

Changes again...

My blog seems to be a distant source of expressing thoughts these days due to Face Book.  As I sit this early morning, I realized that I needed to update our family status and give some more testimony of how God continues to weave a journey for us.

When I came home to be with my children in October of 2011, I knew that we were going to have a tough time adjusting; financially and emotionally.  After 6 months, emotionally was over with and financially grew stronger.  We made a decision when Anna was born for me to be at home with the kids and to homeschool.  Through the years this has been tested, but always God showed us confirmation by caring for us.

During all this time, I sought the Lord for many things and one of them being to be debt free.  For our burdens to be lifted and for us to be givers, not receivers.  I thank God for the gifts that he gives through other people, but there comes a time in your life in which you want to be able to stand on solid ground and give to others.  I, so desperately, want this to be our time.

My grandmother moved out of her house last year and gave the home to my Dad.  Daddy tried to rent the house, but with no prevail.  I began thinking about downsizing and living below our means, so the freedom that I desired could be achieved.  Of course, when I mentioned it to my husband, he just shot it down.  What a scary though, right.  We would be leaving the home we built together that was the handy work of my father and grandfather.  We would also be leaving a very spacious home of 2800 sq ft and entering into a cozy 992 sq ft.  Yes, Wayne thought I had lost my mind.

As the months went by, and I continued to pray about these things, I began to hear the Lord tell me, "Obey me and I will bless you".  I increased the conversations with my better half even more regarding the switch.  I even made a spreadsheet (it's in my nature-Business Major :-) to show the difference in our month expenses.  Finally in November 25, 2012, we came to a gut wrenching decision; to put our house up for short sale (due to the economy-our house is worth way less than what we owe) and to rent Grandmother's house.  We cried and cried about the decision, but deep down we both knew it was the right thing to do. I then began hearing the Lord tell me to "do this, so I can do my work".  

So, for the last month we have purged everything.  We have given away 2 trailers (after a yard sale that we had in October, before even knowing we would take this path), 3 completely loaded van loads, and there is still probably about a van load left at the house to give away.  I prayed for weeks for the Lord to let all of us fit into such a small space comfortably and peacefully.  I do not like clutter and I didn't want to live out of boxes or be living around boxes.

We have moved officially last weekend, and as usual, the Lord has come through.  We do fit comfortably.  Yes, there is still some adjusting to be done- with 5 people, 2 dogs (labs, I might add), and 2 parakeets.  We are not living out of boxes or moving around them.  God gave me the ability to release the house and everything in it.  It is an amazing feeling actually to let go of things that didn't even belong to me in the first place.  I am living by today, not tomorrow or next year.  God is teaching me, through this trial, to lean more on him and not on my circumstances.  I don't actually feel like this is home, not yet anyway.  But I pray that I always know that this house is even His, not mine.

This house has much to be done in it, and this was the most overwhelming part.  God knew that and I prayed that he would honor us in our obedience   That He would allow us to give back to my parents and grandparents.  A total stranger showed up on move in Saturday, Rendal.  He is a friend of a friend of mine.  He is in charge of Builders for Christ.  The Lord brought him for that "giving" I wanted for my parents/grandparents.  He promised that he would be back after the holidays to fix the major problems of the house for FREE.  Yes, I said it.  This is such a confirmation that we were supposed to move.  This renovation is not just for us, right now, but for the restoration of my grandfather's handy work.  I really believe that this is just the beginning of some answers to our long awaited prayers.

What a blessing it is to have a God that cares about the little things in life.  What a blessing it is to have a home to go to; with a roof, heat/air, plumbing, and beds to sleep.   God, I want to thank you.  Thank you for my family that you have given to me.  Thank you for a sense of peace and restoration.  Thank you for Rendal and his team.  I pray that they can restore the major problems of this house for the future of the home.  Lord, I ask that you continue to show us direction and leadership in our lives.  We cannot live without you.  I ask that you heal our bodies.  You know that at this time, I have three sick children.  Give them comfort and peace.  Give them healing on their bodies.  Let them know Lord that the sickness is not going to last forever and that you will protect them.  Continue to mold us into your servants.  Lord, we want to be more like you everyday.  Allow Wayne and I to be the parents that we need to be, so our children will know that you are King of our lives.  I pray for blessings on my children's, grandchildren's, and grandchildren's children's lives.  Gives us a legacy that leads to you.  This day, I give to you.  Give me the words to speak and actions to do, to give life to someone else.  In your precious son's name, Jesus-Amen.

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