Saturday, Wayne texted to ask me to pack for him for a week. I called him back and asked, "Why?" His company sees it fit for him to go to North Carolina to train a man that has never been in the trucking industry or ever dispatched. I drove him to the pick up spot in Mableton, Ga and felt old feelings creeping in.
Back in October, when I came home and Wayne went over the road, I had so much fear and darkness to cover me. I felt that I had gone through the process of almost loosing him all over again. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but its true. I came home to children I didn't know anymore and to myself, which I didn't know or fully understand. To top that off, a week later Wayne left for 3 weeks. Now, 9 months later, I can be in my own skin. I know that I am not the person I was 2 years ago, but neither are any of us. Getting to know one another has been a challenge, but one worth taking. I love being home with my children and serving my husband.
Our journey is a continuing one. First, I would like to say that I would not change anything, even though it has been so hard. God has blossomed a beautiful relationship between Wayne and I; better than ever before. We truly understand one another. This in itself is such an answer to God. I have prayed for the man God wants Wayne to be. It is evident that man is coming. God wants something BIG for him and his relationship with our Father is growing each day.
Another thing that our journey is taking us, is through our church. God has called me to do something I feel so unequipped to do, but he is showing himself everywhere. The mission is enormous and makes me come to the Father even more. Gideon also felt this way, but conquered great things.
I face physical challenges everyday due to the Rheumatoid Arthritis that plagues my body. The more that I answer to the call of the Lord, sometimes I feel Satan attacks me more. Today, I feel strengthened. I have people who pray for me and the mission that God has me on. Not only are they praying for those things, but for my husband's success in his career and our family. In this life, I just don't see how you can live without God, the one and only, the creator, the finisher, the Healer ( I will be healed in due time...His time), the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords, the Comforter. and the Provider. He is my everything...
Lord, I praise you. I lift up my husband to you. I ask that you keep him safe and give him favor with his career. I pray that he would be able to teach in a way that the trainee understands. I pray, Lord, that his return is secure and safe. Please remove any doubt or fear from me, now. There is no place here for it. You have always, always been there for us. You have never forsaken us. Lead your mission with our church. never allow it to become "mine". Rise up leaders and volunteers to do it for you and no other. Thank you Lord for those who have stepped out and accepted the challenge that lies ahead. Bless them Lord and give them guidance, direction, leading to you in those areas of the mission field. I pray that you will sustain us and keep us going strong. I ask that we not "fizzle" out, but never grow weary of doing good. Lord, allow my relationship with my own children be redeemed to something that only you can do. I pray that their husbands and wives will be Godly followers of Christ. Guide them to their purposes in life and allow them to not be shaken. Thank you Father for your Love and Peace. I ask all this in your precious son's name, Jesus Christ. Amen
