Well, being without a vehicle for almost 4 months has certainly had its challenges.  As I paid the previous owner this morning, in cash, for our 2001 New Beetle; I felt exhilarating! We have never been able to purchase something like this on our own before and knowing as I drove away that it is mine (title in hand).  I almost felt like it wasn't true.  Just pinch me :-)

I wanted to take a minute to praise the God of fathers.  He has made this come true for us, not ourselves.  He prepared our hearts to want less and be satisfied.  Thank you Lord for your love and gifts to me.  We are sons and daughters of your kingdom and I am at awe.  You are majestic even in the tough times and I am proud to call you Papa.  Continue to mold Wayne and I to your will.  Allow us to share your word and testimony with others.  I pray blessings on my children as they grow to be obedient followers of Christ.  In your Mighty Son's Name-Amen.

I want more...

It is interesting that today as I was sitting in church, that I was thinking of my husband.  My best friend, was almost killed in an accident 11-30-10.  Believe it or not a bungee cord was the culprit.  He has been a truck driver almost the length of our relationship, which is 16 years.  I knew the next day as we waited for the upteen doctor to come "look" at his eye (he was a very exciting never seen case-10 doctors took his eye out of his head to inspect it in 4 days!) that God had something Huge in store for us.  I guess my title begins in 2001.  That is the year that I was baptized and truly began to want all of the Lord.  I remember every Sunday asking Wayne if he wanted to go to church with us and him having some excuse to why he needed to stay home.  Yes, I took my daughter and went to church by myself.  Envious of all the families that had their fathers/husbands with them.  One day the Lord spoke through the pastor's words directly to me.  He said that we had to be responsible for ourselves and that we couldn't make someone change their hearts, but the Lord could.  Well, I was so relieved.  Really, I felt a burden just come off me something quick.  I never asked him to go to church again and didn't feel envious of those families any more.  I prayed harder for him and ask God to change his world, allowing Wayne to accept him and be the spiritual leader of our home. 

In 2002 we had Anna.  She was born with hip dysplasia.  Our world came to a crashing halt.  Wayne, for the first time in our relationship, witnessed a miracle.  At that time, he had come to church a little and was making way on his journey.  He new that everyone we knew and all the people at our church were praying for her healing and that for miracle to be done.  And boy did he come through.  The week before this took place, the doctor stated that the condition wasn't getting better with the brace and for me to get a date for surgery lined up.  I took that request to Jesus.  I agreed with everyone that was in prayer for her healing. A week later at the next visit, miraculously the doctor was dumb founded and couldn't explain the change her in leg!  This was a catapult in our lives.

Wayne became a regular attendee at our church, started going to bible study, and church functions.  But even then I remember this is wonderful but I WANT MORE.  I know that their are women out there that wish that their husbands would just go to church (I had been one of them), but I wanted more.  Yes, it was fantastic that he made a huge step into religious activity.  But truly I wanted a spiritual leader for my children and me.

Later down the road, Wayne gave his life to Christ in a tree stand.  He asked God to take control and let him know what to do.  He has let go from his company the next day.  We were never happier.  We enjoyed each other and just talked about how this was what God wanted. I remember thinking, all I care about is now I know my husband is a kindred spirit! Thank you Lord, Thank you.

Since then he has had an accident that changed his perspective even more.  I notice a trend with Wayne that he has to be physically moved by the Lord.  Ya know, a little stubborn ;-) Honestly, this morning I sat wanting more.  I actually don't mind the religious activity.  I want God to have a hold of his heart in a mighty way.  I want him to pray with us, for us, for others, and seek out God's desires.  I want him to make decisions for our family and place them at the feet of Jesus.  Wow, that gives me chills just thinking about it.

So, you see...I am in love with this man.  I know one more person in love with him more than me-Jesus.  He wants him worse than I do.  God says that he knows the desires of our hearts.  These desires line up with him and it is so exciting to watch it all unfold before my eyes. 

Thank you Lord for my earthly best friend and husband.  He is a diamond in the rough and you are molding him so beautifully.  Thank you for his heart for my children and me.  I ask that you continue to grow him into the spiritual leader of this home.  I pray that he will have a passion for you that burns from within.  He is already a son of God and I know that you are waiting for the perfect time, so in that spirit please give me patience, understanding, and compassion for him.  I ask that you mold me into the wife that I need to be for him to take hold of you.  I want to make you proud of your servant and know that everything was done for you and you only.  You are so mighty and you have given and taken away from us.  But you are with us each step and we are alive because you died for us.  Thank you for experiencing my pain and turmoil. I thank you for your peace and comfort that you give to anyone who wants it.  You are my King, my Savior, and friend.  In all these things, I pray to you-Jesus.  Amen. 

Why do I Homeschool?

I am a learner at heart, so the other day I stumbled upon a webinar from Rainbow Resource.  It was about choosing the right curriculum.  Well, I am also one not to just waste money, so this appealed to me.  As I listened, one of the questions that it asked was "Why do you homeschool?"  It listed various reasons why one might jump into the hardest thing they have every done.  If your wondering, "Because I am crazy", wasn't one of the reasons :0) I have thought about this question for a week now, and feel led to blog the answer.

So, Why do I homeschool anyway?

This question can be answered a different way depending on the day and season in my life.  At first, I firmly believe that God called me to this ministry.  A ministry of healing past hurts of being a young mom and redeeming a relationship that God wants me to have with my children.  I know that some of you think to yourselves, that spending 24 hours a day-7 days a week with your children is not the best way to gain a healthy relationship with them.  But I ask you to question that thought.  Over the past 8 years I have been able to see our character for what it is.  We have been able to grow spiritually and to invest in one another's lives.  I believe that even on really bad days, God has shown us the art of forgiveness. We have been able to focus on the heart of situations, whether it was to comfort my eldest when she had a tumor and was wondering why her.  Or if it was having a sibling that was born with hip dysplasia and coping through it.  Trying to be there for one another and pray hard as a family for healing/restoration.   Being able to be there when it took 10 months for your father to heal and to learn to help step up when you are needed for life, is Priceless.  Witnessing a true miracle of a complete healing together.  I know, I know, any family can do these things.  But, just to be able to be there was more than memories. 

The calling that God has for me is to rise my children to love him.  He has placed me in a season that has people who have also been called for this reason.   I desire my children to love the Lord first, then do everything they can to live out their passions.  I want them to make time for their families by knowing when to slow down their activities.  I want them to really know the Lord their God as their friend, savior, and healer.  To hear him as that quiet still voice and to live accordingly.  So, when asked the question of why I homeschool, I just want the best for my children (as we all do).  Now, I can say we homeschool because not only has God called us to do so, but because we love spending time with each other.  Also, being able to use the time we have for what God wants us to do. 

Oh How He Loves Me

Tonight was the 1st Saturday "religious meeting" that our church has held.  I have prayed throughout the week that God's presence would be felt.  With pot luck style dinner and fellowship, we began to worship.  PB ask for people to come up for healing, and I heard my thoughts wander.  Saying, "You don't believe it.  You just don't believe it can be done, don't go up there."  The musicians and singers started to sing "Fill me Lord" and I just listened, repeated...There was a older woman and husband, with what looked to be her married daughter and husband.  I kept hearing her say, "Yes, Jesus Fill Me.  Fill me, Jesus."  A moment passed, as I continued to listen, I felt the Holy Spirit come on me.  It was warm and flowed throughout my whole body.  I heard then, "I am healed, in the name of Jesus.  You don't have to go up there, but you can be healed in the name of Jesus." Burst out in tears and just worshiped the God of my fathers, God of Abraham, My Jehovah, My Creator, My Lover, and My Friend.  He loves me so much, so much more that I could ever imagine. 

I witnessed tonight the Love of our Father, how He ministered to a young girl through Anna.  Anna just being so motherly to her and the girl being more calm than she has ever been.  The domestic qualities that she possesses was over looked until tonight.  She showed her worship with this girl and through asking the other little girls to draw pictures for the people.  One by one, they drew and walked right up to the attendees to give them their art.  He showed me her attributes that are like Him. 

Thank you Lord for giving us life.  A life that is just filled with your presence.  You continue to amaze me with your power, love, grace, and mercy.  I ask that you would continue to "open" my eyes to what is for your glory.  I do not want my way, but yours.  Thank you for healing me.  Thank you for my children.  I ask that they will seek you as their Lord and Savior, up holding you as their standard in life.  I pray for their husbands and wife.  I pray that you would prepare their hearts as a lover of you and to be as one with them.  I also pray for Wayne, that you will fill his life with a passion for you.  That he would be the spiritual leader of our family and continue to honor you. Thank you Lord.  You are the one! In Jesus Name Amen