"God takes good care of me"

Last week was a hard one, but this week is just icing on the cake.  As my daughter and I started our way to Alabama, our newer car broke down.  It took almost two hours for a wrecker and my mom (all the way from Alabama) to recover us.  After we dropped the car off at the shop in Haralson (a local backyard mechanic that a lot of us use), my Daddy was insistent that Momma bring me to Alabama.  So, we set off finally in the direction we intended to go earlier in the day. 

As we sat in the car waiting for everyone to arrive, my daughter said, " Mom you sure are handling this really well."  I just simply replied that there was no since in crying or shouting or getting upset.  Doing any of those things wasn't going to bring the car back to life or make us get to our destination any faster.  So, we decided to play games instead (electronically :-). 

During the night, early Tuesday morning, we received a phone call that my Daddy's uncle had passed.  He had been battling pancreatic cancer for several months and finally received his peace.  I am thankful that we were there, so my Daddy wouldn't be alone and dealing with his emotions.  Then on Wednesday after surviving the journey to Fairburn for the funeral-which was prayerfully joyful and peaceful, we get a phone call that the asset damages to the car would be $900! That nearly choked me, silently.  I didn't know how I would pay the horrific traffic ticket, advalorem on the car, our mortgage, and the other few bills that we have.  I just told the Lord that he would have to handle this, because I was just plain tired of worrying about stuff. 

At church on Sunday, as I tithed, I asked the Lord to help us eat, pay are bills, and give us direction.  Tithing hurt way more that it usually did.  Ya know in a non-tithers mentality tithing doesn't make any sense and the budget never can be in the black (for most of us anyway).  So, this week was a particularly extra hard week.  I trusted him and kept my promise to the promised tithe.

Low and behold, he has cared for us.  First, Wednesday I called on the ticket to see how much it was.  I jokingly mentioned that I hadn't received a ticket in 11 years and the woman agreed.  She offered me a ticketed warning, which doesn't go on my record and only cost $30! God is so good!!!

Then today, Friday, my pastor contacted me and some anonymous person gave the church $400 to the cost of our vehicle getting repaired! Wow, right!

Then, Wayne called me today and told me he actually got 4 loads today at work.  He hasn't done this in weeks! Plus, he was given 4 bags of dog food.

Along with all of this, in William's school this week we were covering N-N-Nest.  The cue card for this sound states, "God takes good care of me".  Today we read out of Matthew, reminding all of us that even the birds of the air do not go without food, shelter, and clothing.  God knows what we need before we even ask.  The birds do not ask, but they receive.  So, we too shall receive his care because we do ask.

I know that you are awesome, God.  This week, even though it was rough, I trusted you.  I asked for your guidance and the finances for our situations, which you delivered in multiples.  Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be the daughter of the King.  The one who created us all to Love and to share this love with all around us.  I ask that you bless the person that wants there good deed to be secret.  I pray that you will give them 100 times the amount that they gave us.   I felt like the widow and her mite, but just like you blessed her-you have us.  Continue to allow us to follow what you want for our lives.  You know our hearts' desire and if they are yours then let them be.  I pray that our mechanic receives financial blessings from you as well and the heart of God.  He loves to help people and make sure that they are not "ripped off", and for this Lord, please bless him and encourage him.  Wrap his family into your arms and fill their hearts with your word.  Thank you, again, Abba. 

In Jesus' Name,

Your Daughter

Satan, You are not the Boss of me!

I am sick and tired of Satan trying to rain on my parade.  The past years he has tried to steal my husband, my relationship with my children, lie to me about who I am in Christ, and give me catastrophe after catastrophe. 

Satan, you may not have my life, or my families, or my friends life.  Get away from our vehicles, our children, and spouses.  You don't rule me or them.  You are a liar, a thief, and a destroyer.  But guest what, I have something is more powerful than you will every have-Jesus.  His blood on the cross, heals my body, gives me joy in uncertain circumstances, provision, and most of all peace.  You can never give me these things.  You give confusion, depression, mismanagement of God's money, and death.  I am God's Girl, as Jamie Grace puts it, from the top of my head to the souls of my feet.  Get away, but I will serve God all the days of my life.  NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Get back and stand in your place-HELL. 

Jesus, I come to you tonight on behalf of my friends, family, and myself.  You are my true leader, provider, healer, confidant.  I ask that you give us (Lord, you know everyone on my mind) peace and comfort.  Lord, I ask for direction in our lives, in our marriages.  Give us success and allow us to know that this is your success, however it looks.  Give us Lord your eyes and your words, to lift each other up in prayer.  I ask, Father, that you come right now into every home.  Heal wounds, Heal bodies, Heal words, Heal friendships, Heal relationships, Heal financial burdens.  I can only give these to you, because they are not meant for me carry.  In your name, all is glorified.  I pray that my life would show your compassion, your love, your faithfulness, your desires.  Mold me and allow my husband and children to feel your presence.  Lord help to be a family that is unshakable.  I want to recognize Satan for who he really is and bring your glory to our lives and circumstances. 

Jer 29:11-12 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy my brothers when faced with trails of many kinds , knowing the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be perfect and complete, not lacking anything.  
 

The Power of Ugly

 Some friends and I have reading through a book called "The Power of Ugly".   This week we were talking about "The Ugly Jesus".  It is not blasphemy, I promise (you would have to read the book).  But in the chapter, it talks about the ugly conception, the ugly birth, and the ugly death of Jesus.  How He lived such a lowly life, so ordinary.  He came here not as a king with worldly riches, but as a baby.  A baby that had to be cared for and nurtured, one that was vulnerable to mankind.  The author takes us back to the movie "The Passion of the Christ".  He writes about different things, but what stands out the most to me in that movie is when Jesus is being beaten beyond recognition.  Satan comes in the crowd as the form of an infant.  He distorts something so beautiful and mocks quietly into Jesus' mind, just as he does me daily: "Your not good enough", "You'll never please Him", "You'll never go through with it".  All the while, Jesus in his misery and pain continues to press on.  If saying..."I have already won.  I am victorious and you may not have any of them".  Wow! How amazing that I could never love someone to sacrifice everything I am and have, but He sacrificed all this for ME.  We always think of this towards mankind, but tonight I am dwelling on the peace that it was for ME!


On my ride home tonight, I just felt like the Lord wanted me to declare something publicly. I never had sister(s) with my biological family, but God has placed some truly special women in my life to give me a sense of sisterhood. Thank you God for Joe Heidi Tritt.  Lord she gives of herself to our family all the time. She is my oldest sister whom watches over me and loves me unconditionally. Thank you Lord for giving her hope to not only a future with her family, but with mine. Surgery is ugly and is not really wanted, but a good friend told me that those are just scars and reminders of who we are in Christ. Our trials set us apart. We live in victory because of Christ. Praise God that the report is 90% no cancer! Praise God that my daughter, who at the age of 7 didn't want surgery either, but can live to say that God was with us and still is today. She, too, has ugly scars that remind her (and will remind her for the rest of her life) of the ugliness of this world. We live on 70% of no re-occurrence. 

My sister in law is another special one.  She is the little sister in my life.  I get to pray with her and share in life with her the intimate things that sisters share.  We can talk for hours and still call each other the next day and have something to talk about.  I have loved her since day one and continue to pray for God to reign in her life.  

There are so many that God uses for different parts of my sister needs:Faith Phillips (my other side of my brain, most days), Angela Thrasher (who we offer each other so much support to one another), April Anderson ( girl you are my strong leader, to you I look up to)... Thank you God for these women...I am truly a blessed one.

Lord, there are no words to describe what you have done for me to be saved.  I can never say Thank you enough.  But I lift my life to you and ask that I serve you with my whole heart for the rest of my life.  You are my rock, my foundation...You are never surprised by my circumstances or my response to the them.  Mold me and shape me into the wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister, teacher, etc. that will glorify your name and nothing else.  Place people in my life that will serve as models and firm guidance in my walk.  Help me to pray for my neighbors, my family, my community, my children, my husband in a way that pleases you and brings victory to their lives.  Thank you Lord for providing sisters in my life that understand me and love me for me.  Protect these relationships and keep them from the evil one.  You are my comforter, the Peace maker...In you I have hope and look forward to a successful future.  In Jesus' name, Amen.  

It's My Birthday

As I sit here tonight, thinking of the day, I caught myself thinking birthdays are just another day.  Ya know, kind of bummed that exciting parties, cake (in my case it would have to be gluten free), family, and friends were things of yesteryear.  I almost had a fog of depression moving in on me.  Partly because my hubby said he was working late and me thinking of our direction financially.  But I stopped and thought about my events of the day.  I had the privilege of my best friend of just a short year (but I feel like I have known her for a life time) drop her son off for me to school today and give me her Nook Color for my birthday.  Wow! I then was able to work lightly with my students (my 2 daughters and friend) with some bible and history.  I decided that if I wasn't going to do anything spectacular with my birthday, I should serve. To be honest, I feel like I have shown my students today, that it is not about receiving but giving.  I financially have nothing to give, but physically I could give my joy and love that God has given me.  We only served the local people for an hour and half, but we were praying for healing, laughing as we gained relationships, and gave food to restore hope with people.  What a joy it is to serve others, even when you don't feel like life is going your way.  Satan has no room here, only the one true God that I serve when I serve in His name.  Thank you Lord, for how much you love me.  I pray that my hands and feet will always serve you.  I ask that my words, thoughts, and actions make sweet incense to your nose.  Please guide my life with goals in mind, blessing everyone around me.  Help me Lord not to grow weary of doing good.  I pray Lord that I will not boast in anything or cause me to get the credit that is due to you.  Allow the work that I do to be yours and no others.  Give me strength and wisdom.  Thank you Lord, You are Amazing. Amen.

James 1: 2-4
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face various trials, because knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.

Galations 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

State of Worship

I have spent the week at a Vineyard Conference with a friend, my pastor, and his wife.  I have never even been to a revival before, let alone a week long conference.  So, needless to say it has been a week.  


Since being obedient to God two years ago, I have been dealing with "what's real" and "what's not".  I also have been dealing with feeling worthy to do what God has called me to, which is a big task for the children's ministry.  


There is a man named Robbie Dawkins.  He is known for his healing through the authority of Jesus Christ.  Well, to be honest fear is what rises when I see Mr. Dawkin's work.  So, when the service came for him to speak, I almost didn't go.  But I am glad that I did.   


As they introduced him they said some of you know him and some of you are afraid. I laughed out loud! Partly bc I was the one afraid :-) I prayed silently for God to reveal himself to me in a word that know one else knows. 


Boy did he. 


First, after a whole bunch of people came in floods to him as I stayed at my seat, he said he felt like someone was feeling lack of courage and to step out. I received that and moved towards my friend. As I tried to pray for my friend and her hurting heart I realized that Robby was standing right next to me. After a few minutes he turned and said ma'am I feel you need healing (well he doesn't know me from Adam and I never told him I feel like an 80 year old woman trapped in a 32 year old body), so I began weeping instantly. As I felt a sense of warmth move over my body, he stopped and said God is telling me that you don't feel worthy. (OK even more tears came flushing my face bc I had only told two people that and one didn't know him from Adam and the other didn't tell him). He began to speak prophetic words that I was a warrior for him. "Rise Warrior Rise". 


So meet my new motto. I am worthy and I will reach those He has called me to reach. I will live, move, pray with the lost broken shamed hopeless forgotten. He has not forgotten you. You are His precious children that he values so much.  He wrote your name on the palm of his name. I may have not gotten complete healing of my body tonight, but I received restoration of my spirit through the truth of My King!


It has been such a sweet time being in a state of worship with no distractions for 4 days.  I have never experienced anything like it before and now I look forward to be with my heavenly father more and more.  I am continuing to fight the good fight and I will not grow weary in doing good.  He is my healer, my provider, my comforter, my Abba father.  In Him I find rest.  

Life is getting a little hairy...

Saturday, Wayne texted to ask me to pack for him for a week.  I called him back and asked, "Why?" His company sees it fit for him to go to North Carolina to train a man that has never been in the trucking industry or ever dispatched. I drove him to the pick up spot in Mableton, Ga and felt old feelings creeping in.

Back in October, when I came home and Wayne went over the road, I had so much fear and darkness to cover me.  I felt that I had gone through the process of almost loosing him all over again.  I know that sounds a little dramatic, but its true.  I came home to children I didn't know anymore and to myself, which I didn't know or fully understand.  To top that off, a week later Wayne left for 3 weeks. Now, 9 months later, I can be in my own skin.  I know that I am not the person I was 2 years ago, but neither are any of us.  Getting to know one another has been a challenge, but one worth taking.  I love being home with my children and serving my husband. 

Our journey is a continuing one.  First, I would like to say that I would not change anything, even though it has been so hard.  God has blossomed a beautiful relationship between Wayne and I; better than ever before.  We truly understand one another.  This in itself is such an answer to God.  I have prayed for the man God wants Wayne to be.  It is evident that man is coming.  God wants something BIG for him and his relationship with our Father is growing each day. 

Another thing that our journey is taking us, is through our church.  God has called me to do something I feel so unequipped to do, but he is showing himself everywhere.  The mission is enormous and makes me come to the Father even more.  Gideon also felt this way, but conquered great things. 

I face physical challenges everyday due to the Rheumatoid Arthritis that plagues my body.  The more that I answer to the call of the Lord, sometimes I feel Satan attacks me more.  Today, I feel strengthened.  I have people who pray for me and the mission that God has me on.  Not only are they praying for those things, but for my husband's success in his career and our family.  In this life, I just don't see how you can live without God, the one and only, the creator, the finisher, the Healer ( I will be healed in due time...His time), the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords, the Comforter. and the Provider.  He is my everything...

Lord, I praise you.  I lift up my husband to you.  I ask that you keep him safe and give him favor with his career.  I pray that he would be able to teach in a way that the trainee understands.  I pray, Lord, that his return is secure and safe.  Please remove any doubt or fear from me, now.  There is no place here for it.  You have always, always been there for us.  You have never forsaken us.  Lead your mission with our church.  never allow it to become "mine".  Rise up leaders and volunteers to do it for you and no other.  Thank you Lord for those who have stepped out and accepted the challenge that lies ahead.  Bless them Lord and give them guidance, direction, leading to you in those areas of the mission field.  I pray that you will sustain us and keep us going strong.  I ask that we not "fizzle" out, but never grow weary of doing good.  Lord, allow my relationship with my own children be redeemed to something that only you can do.  I pray that their husbands and wives will be Godly followers of Christ.  Guide them to their purposes in life and allow them to not be shaken.  Thank you Father for your Love and Peace.  I ask all this in your precious son's name, Jesus Christ.  Amen

Gideon VS Me

As I prepare to engage some children with an activity for a missions project, I realized just how closely related I am to our friend Gideon.  The profile in my bible gives a description of his weaknesses and I said "Hmmm sounds like me".  He feared that his own limitations would prevent God from working.  Boy, do I fear these things too.  I pray Lord that you will take these fears of my weaknesses away.  I want to do your work and establish a deep relationship with you offering my testimonies to all that will hear.  I pray that I learn from the lessons of Gideon.  He was apart of the weakest clan and the least of the weakest, but yet you used him to defeat the undefeatable.  I am weak, but in you I am strong.  Ring this truth into my spirit and crush the enemy with his lies.  Do not allow me to make the work of your Compassion and Love into something to worship.  All is done in your name and not my own.  You have called me in the middle of my obedience and I want to be faithful.  You are creating a masterpiece within me and expanding my abilities to further your kingdom.  What peace I have to know that you can use me in all my failures and limitations for the good of your people and kingdom.  I ask Lord that you protect me from falling easily into sin and allow me to learn quickly to turn my gaze on you, Always.  Thank you for allowing me to be your servant.  You are my Abba Father and I love you.  Thank you, Thank you...In Jesus' Name-Amen.