I know dwelling in the past is not good for the soul, but praising the "thus far" (as Beth Moore states in A Heart Like His) that God has brought you to is powerful. I can't imagine being a bystander looking through the woes and delights of my life. I've been told that I've gone through so much in such a short period of time. Going through the struggles of this life isn't easy, but looking back on God's work in it all fuels me to keep pressing on.
Growing up, now looking back, wasn't as tough as it could be. I had to deal with the effects of an unbiblical marriage between my parents and of drugs/alcohol. Watching my dad grow and mature, turn away from those things has been healing in my adult life. I assure you that forgiveness can be hard, but man, once you experience it-it's amazing. Now I pray that he will accept God for himself one day, so we can live in eternity together.
As a women, I brought my raising into my marriage. God placed me in life with folks that pointed me to forgiveness with the things of my past, so that I can bring healing into my life and into my marriage.
Sweetie #1 had a Keratin Cyst when she was 7 years old. At this time I was able to feel what the peace of God felt like. No matter what the doctor's said or my worried parents thought, I felt that God had way more for her than 7 years. Looking back today, I am amazed at her desire for His work. She has had a heart for missions since she was 5 years old. She's gone on every mission trip that the Lord provided for and to date has gone on 4 short terms. She currently is working with the ministry My Father's Arrows and feels so very important to the mission. God has greatly blessed her and continues to do so.
Sweetie #2 is our adopted son. He now is in #2 due to age :) There are so many amazing stories that I could share with everyone regarding his healing journey during the last year and half, but one tops them. After been abandoned by his adoptive family at a mental institution, he definitely lost all hope. I know we've talked about how he felt there couldn't be a God and if there was he had abandoned him too. He had a rough year, but to start it off he was arrested for fighting with his foster brother. The amazing part of the story is I started praying for protection for our son that we didn't know yet, as we began the training to get certified to adopt. I specifically prayed for physical protection and for God to guard his heart, to prepare him for our family and to keep him safe until we could meet him. We found out in the disclosure meeting that he tried to commit suicide while he was incarcerated. There was a very large tornado that came through the area which scared him. I was convinced that there was so much more to that than what was shared, but accepted the event. several months later we were talking about Judas Iscariot and how he committed suicide, along with my aunt that suffered from mental illness that did the same. He came unexpectedly into my room and announced that it must take a lot of courage to kill yourself. I paused and then told him that in my mind it would take way more courage to not kill yourself and asked how he felt about when he chose not too. This shocked him, as this is something he doesn't think about nor talk about. I asked him who stopped him and he told me that some kid that he had never seen before. It dawned on me the timing and then I shared that I had been praying for him before we even knew him. That little boy could have been an angel from God protecting him from hurting himself so he can be with us. He told me that he never saw that boy again either. I've learned through this that God hears my cries and delivers on His promises. Even now I'm learning, as sweetie's story isn't even close to done. Wow! Just to think God's will is perfect and will come through.
Sweetie #3 was born with hip dysplasia and lived with a body harness for the first 6-7 months of her life. We saw for the first time someone being healed right in front of our eyes. We also experienced the power of prayer. We were at one of the many appointments for her at the pediatric orthopedic when he said what we had been fearing for months, that she needed surgery. This surgery would consist of many, many hip replacements that would have to occur due to her ever growing body. I came home that day and immediately ask for prayer with my sunday school and church. The next week my parents went with me to the appointment. The doctor had told me to think of a date during the week, but instead I prayed with much vigor for healing in her little body. At the appointment, the doctor did multiple x-rays and rotated her hip for what seemed like 20 minutes. At last I asked, what's going on? He looked at me with surprise and said he didn't know what happened within the week but her hip ball/joint grew and her hip wasn't coming out of place! I told the doctor that I had the whole county praying for her and God healed her. Y'all this was amazing to experience! To experience my parents/hubby to see that God was real and that He listens to his children, and the doctor's dumb founded face. Even years later, I would meet people for the first time and they would recognize my name, then proceed to tell me that they remember praying for my little girl. Seriously, this catapulted my desire to know Him so much more.
Sweetie #4 experienced 7 ear infections within the first year of his life. He was such a sick little boy and the doctors just kept feeding him pills which weren't helping. God placed in our lives a homeschooling mom that was a chiropractor. After two adjustments, he was a new boy and got better every day. The long term affects of the infections caused hearing loss, which made us have to learn simple sign language to communicate with him. A year later, after Wayne's accident we were able to see a specialist and get William the surgery that he needed to hear again. They said to keep him as rested as we could that day, and as we sat outside watching the chickens, he said, "Ma you hr dat." I asked to what he was referring too, because to me there were so many noises. He replied, "da win." Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized this was the first time my baby had heard the wind. During this time, I experienced so much as we were going through me going back to work and me taking care of Wayne due to his accident as well. I learned to talk with God as a friend and our relationship grew tremendously, learned to trust Him with my life, to just keep breathing and move even if its one inch.
Whew! I have a few more things and still rocking this journey. God never promised it would be easy, but he did promise He would be there-ALWAYS. That he would never forsake us and that he would give good gifts to those who love Him. He may say no to things we ask, but we must understand that He only allows good things for our growth, to deepen our relationship with him and with this growth we can encourage those around us...giving them Hope that only he can give.
Lord, Thank you for everything that has happened to me-good or bad. Thank you for allowing me to be closer to you and for continuing to mold me into the woman you created me to be. Your will is perfect and I ask that I'm always reminded of this in every situation. Amen.
What a perfect ending to a somewhat normal day. It's definitely in the little things, like who your with and the finite details that the Lord works out in his magnificent way.